The way to leave your lover
Emotion is the most complicated social phenomenon of human beings, and it is not controlled by our subjective will.
In real life, most third parties are filled with contradictions and pain, but they cannot control their feelings and often struggle with reason and emotion.
What they need most now is support.
Here are some simple ways to help them cut off love and relieve pain.
1. In mind, you must recognize that he is inappropriate for you, and there will be no result between you.
Delays will only increase each other’s pain.
The psychological feelings of a few extramarital lovers are double-layered below to help you recognize reality and cut love.
“Extramarital affairs are really exciting, and you feel as if you are in the sky.
However, you have to wait for the phone, and the meeting is only one or two hours.
Sunday is the most distressed, because your “he” is not around, but stays with his wife at home.
The most painful thing in the world is to fall in love with someone you can’t have. ”
The advice of a woman’s extramarital lover to other affair is “Don’t get caught up. Every woman thinks that her situation is different, that is, the man she met will definitely divorce.
However, it is often not as good as people wish. ”
“The affair makes you face the guilty of hurting many people around you. These shadows will accompany you all your life. Even if you and Xinhuan live a happy and happy life from the bottom of your heart, you will always have regrets.Intention and guilt. ”
2. Keep a distance. If you work together, you need to use honorifics to speak to him.
Leave where you used to go and stop caring about him.
It’s normal if you can’t forget him for the time being, you need time, but remember not to date or call him anymore.
Try to avoid you being together, if possible, adjust the department or find another job.
Distance and time can dilute each other’s feelings.
3. Don’t make excuses for ourselves. The complexity of feelings is that sometimes we have difficulty grasping ourselves, and love and hate for a while.
The reason and the conflict of interest also understand that they cannot control their feelings.
Moreover, they often find excuses for their actions and deceive themselves.
Remember not to borrow some special days, such as birthdays, Valentine’s Day, etc., to give yourself an excuse to resurrect the extramarital affairs, so that all the achievements can be abandoned.
4, cleaning up the items related to him is natural.
A small gift will also cause you good memories and longing for happiness.
In short, every item of him can touch your heart and evoke your thoughts on him.
Therefore, the best way to forget him is to destroy or store some items related to him.
5. Mobilize our own psychological defense mechanism and balance our mentality.
The psychological defense mechanism is when a person suffers psychological setbacks or difficulties, he uses many ways to cope and adapt, such as: adopting behaviors to deal directly with problems, passive evasion, or coping with naive ways.
The psychological defense mechanism is used almost unknowingly by everyone. It is performed subconsciously, but we haven’t solved it.
In our living environment, there are many frustrations and difficulties everywhere. If we cannot take direct action to cope, we need to rely on psychological mechanisms and measures to adapt. It is a normal and healthy psychological phenomenon.
The following introduces several common psychological defense mechanisms, which you can choose according to your own situation.
Depression: This is the most basic mature psychological defense mechanism. When a person’s desire or instinct is unable to meet or perform, he will consciously or subconsciously suppress, control, and find ways to delay the need to meet his needs.
For example: men on the road see pretty girls and so on.
The reason why ordinary people can maintain normal interpersonal relationships and social order is that everyone’s depressive action must control our behavior. The more mature and self-cultivating, the more able to use the depressive action.
You should give full play to the power of depression.
But it may not be easy for you to suppress your emotions without thinking about him.
You can start by controlling your behavior, and no longer date or call him. Kaihua effect: Sometimes, if the impulses or desires caused by people are directly expressed, they may be impacted or have adverse reactions, so they cannot be directly expressed. They must change their face and turn the impulses or desires that are caused to a higher direction.
It is innovative, constructive, and beneficial to society and me. It is called Kaihua function.
For example, when people encounter setbacks, they turn pressure into motivation, work hard and study.
You can turn your psychological pain into an upward motivation, and let your desires come true within the scope of social ethics.
The joy of success will alleviate the pain of losing your lover.
Rationalization In general, the occurrence of certain phenomena or events can be explained in many ways and reasons.
If, for your own psychological needs, choose from a number of reasons that meet your inner needs, focus on and ignore others, and cause mental suffering, known as rationalization.
For example, when pursuing something but not getting it, in order to dilute one’s inner anxiety and find a reason for one’s own failure, they often degrade the other party.
Helps comfort yourself.
This is the sour grape psychology.
If a man can’t catch up with a woman, he says the woman is bad.
Plain-looking women say that beautiful women are “red-faced” and so on.
This psychological defense mechanism can help people accept reality, but don’t overuse it, because it will cause people to pursue what they really need.
But at this time you can use the “acid grape psychology” to list the complication characteristics (bad points) of the lover, watch it or think about it several times a day, and imagine the scene where he and his family are together.
This will increase your centrifugal force with him, which will help you to pull out of the vortex of feelings.
Consumption effect: When people encounter psychological stress or frustration and their desires cannot be satisfied, they neglect to satisfy their desires by overeating, impulse shopping, or drinking alcohol.
As you prepare to leave your lover, feelings of inferiority and failure will continue to surface, causing you pain.
At this time, you might as well chic, spend money on some clothes or do some fitness and beauty activities.
It can help you regain your confidence.
6. Participate in some outdoor activities and social activities. Social interactions will help you to break through the current overall.
Beautiful outdoor scenery can make you feel comfortable and regulate your mood.
Meeting new people can also help you shift your focus.
7. Do something you really care about or care about The sweetness and warmth that extramarital affairs brings to you is not something that can be countered by it. The only thing that can compete with it is what you really realize.
Arming your favorite job will bring you great fun, thus compensating for the joy you lost due to the termination of extramarital affairs.
8. Change behaviors and appearances that affect your self-confidence.
The termination of extramarital affairs can make you feel depressed, inferior, and attenuated.
Lost confidence in the future.
At this time you can do some grooming and beauty or do some of your favorite tasks, this can quickly help you restore self-confidence and find your self-worth.
9.Learn to express your feelings If you are an introverted or strong-willed person who does not want to express your feelings easily, you need to learn.
Don’t suppress the grief, say it or write it, this can make your pain vent to a certain extent and make you feel more comfortable.